Comments on: Real question about training with women in the martial arts? Guys, do you go easier on the women?

By: harmony

harmony — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 01:22:59 +0000

in my school i notice that if two lower belt females practice together, they are more ….i dunno the word….careful? they say did i hit u to hard? are u ok? then to more experience they get the less …careful? they are. it’s not the same when two guys or a girl & guy train
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By: veibf

veibf — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 00:32:59 +0000

No I don't but then I am Dan graded & quite honestly I don't believe you need to go lighter. Mary at my Dojo is about 26 or so & if I went light she'd just hit me harder. Now I do go lighter with Sarah. She is about 12 and very small for her age. I am a quick with her as I am with any other person of her rank but I don't hit her hard as her body just isn't big enough to take it. In short you have to use some common sense here.
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By: Steven J

Steven J — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 23:49:59 +0000

I personally never went softer on anyone due to age, size, or gender. We were all students and all got treated the same. Keep in mind that just because you know martial arts, that does not make you indestructible. There are people who grew up fighting in school yards who are extremely good fighters.

Keep in mind that women are not designed to take a lot of punishment. Striking a woman does more damage then striking a guy. But women tend to be more flexible and can handle grappling better, whereas small joint manipulation hurts men more.

I used to teach women self defense and the first thing I explained to them was that they did not want to stand and fight toe to toe with a guy. I taught them to strike quick and run away.

Quick story, when I first started taking TKD a girl who was a second degree black belt told me she could kick my butt even though I was much larger. It took me 2.2 seconds to grab her and take her down. You have to understand the physical limitations of someone.
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By: Dragon

Dragon — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 23:29:59 +0000

I can say this no they are their to train. I study martial arts and you go to get the training you need or want. They came in knowing they will get bruised or even break a bone. Now I am lucky do to fact their are no women in my school that can fight at my weight or size so I usually have to take on the eight or nine year black belts from other schools. But, trust me one day you will have to take on a girl that you think you should be soft on then wait till you end up on the mat losing. There is one girl at my school that looks like she is delicate but she is ranked number 1 in the US in kung fu for her age and she is already teacher level at 16 so you need to watch out. Soon she will be master level. So just remember they are there to learn just like you so make sure the money they are spending is worth it.
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By: Rambo

Rambo — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 22:49:59 +0000

i’ve seen girls trained the same way…

yes, i go easier on women when it goes to drilling

if they were good or better than me, then that would be a different story.
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By: jaskeyzero

jaskeyzero — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 22:41:59 +0000

it’s not really martial art in my book, but…
i took saber fencing two years back and i had a match against a girl. the girl had few years of more experience on her but i figured, she’s about 3-4 inches shorter than me, so i’ll go easy on her. ^^ big mistake. i thought my reach could beat her speed and/or technique, but no~. i made a cut to the head and a second later she was right in front of me, my saber arm hanging over her shoulder and her saber across my body. then i decided to get serious.

it happened 4 more times and i lost 5-0. ^^;; don’t underestimate a woman, they’re faster and smarter. (and eviler) (jk) (don’t kill me ^^;;)
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By: Clubber Lang

Clubber Lang — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 22:35:59 +0000

well i do not do alot of martial arts anymore. but i do still wrestle. and those few girls that i do wrestle i try not to go easy on them. but u are just careful where u put ur hand and how u handle her. its hard to do both. and it gives the idea that u are goin easy on them.
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By: Kikn4JC

Kikn4JC — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 22:11:59 +0000

I study Ju-jitsu, I’m 19 years old, I’m a girl, and I’m in the adult class with the men triaing to be professional MMA’s. I am usually the only girl in class. does this bother me? no. in response to some jerk who answered before me, get your mind out of the gutter! When you grapple with a lady, if the only thing you can think about is where your junk is in contact with a girls body, you have issues. I have taken class with three guys like you, and the men in class kicked them out of the school. Emphatically.

I do believe that the men in class go a little softer with me, based on my size(5′7,150 pounds), and their size(5′10, 190 pounds is the smallest guy). If they went all out with me like they do someone their size I’d be in the hospital. However, they push me to stretch my comfort zone and to refine my skills. I get bruised up and occasionaly bloodied up, but that’s just part of class. The men in class treat me like I’m their daughter, and that is our attitude in class. When we grapple, they are training me to defend myself in a very bad situation. They know it, and they push me beyond my limit on the ground. If it starts to feel too real, i tell them to back off for a minute, and they respect my wishes. when i feel more comfortable, we go at it 100% on the ground. In self defense, I am one of the guys. they don’t cut me any slack, and I don’t cut them any slack. In sparring, I kick them in the head and they train me to recognize takedowns.

I know they go softer on me, but they train with me as hard as they do a man.
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Personal experience.

By: 30something country boy

30something country boy — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 21:52:59 +0000

Honestly yes, it’s very hard to deprogram my Southern upbringing. To actually lay your hands on a woman is something that I am having a hard time with but I am learning to use a little more resistance in training.

But on the other hand I fully understand by not showing the ladies in class full respect of treating them exactly as I do my male training partners I hinder their training. Anyone can get a false sense of security by training under less than realistic conditions.

Hope that helps

I train in American Kenpo, I’m a Blue belt.
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By: Steve M

Steve M — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 21:14:59 +0000

I try to train to just above the comfortable level with whoever I’m partnering. This way they are challenged but not overwhelmed, and get the opportunity to improve. If the girl is good, strong and aggressive, that’s how we’ll train. If she’s a bit dappy and unsure of herself, i’ll be gentler than with the first girl, but still try to stretch her a bit until she eventually does become good, strong and aggressive in defending herself. And that’s not just with girls – I do the same for guys too.
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